I just wanted to say this again..Happy Anniversary John..

Just a few years ago, I did not believe in anything anymore. I was hanging on to faith by a thread, a very thin thread. I was pretending to have fun. I joined some dating sights and was dating a lot. I was pretending to be writing a book. Typing a few thoughts and sentences each night. Inside though; I was wallowing in self pity. I was fighting a fight for justice and I was losing. I hate to lose! Then this photo popped up in my in box. The guy was wearing a tank top (yeah, one of those wife beater ones) and he was leaning against a motorcycle. My first thought was "oh Lord". He sold cars for a living. Ugh! I was distracted for a few moments and when I got back to my computer the photo was still there. Usually the screen saving fish would have appeared. I wondered what happened to them. There was this man looking at me. His eyes were talking to me. I answered his e-mail. Our first meeting was like most first on line dating meetings. We met at a restaurant. I was not uncomfortable the way I was on most of these 'first meetings'. There were those annoying red flags that I swore to myself I would listen too. He was a recovering alcoholic. Huge red flag. 16 years sober; the flag faded. After finishing our conversation and our chicken salads, he asked me to go to the beach with him. I scared myself and agreed. I still have no idea how that okay just popped out of my mouth. He had a stuffed Winnie the Pooh on his dashboard. I love Pooh. From the moment I entered his truck I had the strangest feeling. Not an ut-oh you are about to be axe murdered feeling; more like an out of body experience. The songs softly coming from the radio were every one of my sentimental favorites. I never talked about my brother's murder on a date. Especially on a first date. This man started telling me how he lost his seventeen year old son. Then he mentioned the date his son died. I gave him what I am sure was the strangest look. My brother died on the same date. We arrived at the beach. It was totally deserted. We sat there talking, I told him about David. It seems silly but I swear I had never seen so many stars in the sky in my life. I should have been freezing. I'm always cold. Conversation continued; his father's name was Francis John. My father's name is Francis John. They both lived in the same town in Florida. We both had sisters named Dee. He told me we were sitting were he scattered his son's ashes. At that moment fireworks filled the sky. We had no idea where they came from as the town was literally deserted. Yes it started with him sending me an e-mail and me answering. What happened from that moment on I believe was a force much greater than the two of us. Some force decided two lost, sad souls needed to find one another. Thirteen months later I married that man on the very spot on the beach where we had our first date. There are no coincidences in God's world. I believe in fate.