They say every face in a crowd has a story to tell, this is my story..

The news shows and newspapers all called it 'Road Rage'. To me that sounded like a disease, an affliction that can make you kill. A sorry excuse to take the claw end of a hammer and slam it repeatedly into the skull of a human being. In April of 1999 my little brother passed away. Doesn't passed away sound so gentle, even normal? David's death was neither. It was murder. He was found lying in a strangers driveway in a pool of blood. He had been punched, stomped and beaten over his entire body. I still have so many questions. I wrote this book at first for therapy and then for answers. I have found a few. I mainly realized l lost a brother tragically and senselessly. Like every other face in the crowd I have a story..and I want to share my story with you! PUBLICATION DATE TO BE ANNOUNCED LATE SUMMER/EARLY FALL :)

Friday, May 28, 2010

Friday Fragments

It has been a long week! I am supposed to be reporting here the birth of my 11th grand daughter but last night we found out her c section has been postponed until Tuesday. The reason, it is a holiday weekend and "some of the specialist needed were not available". So first of all I am even more worried then I already was but I have to put my faith in these professionals and I am reminded I am not in charge and everything happens for a reason.
I have recovered from my neck invasion of epidural and steroid shots but still have a pain in my neck and we will see what that leads to.
My patient Jayne is still in the hospital with diabetes complications and pneumonia and seems to be doing a bit better. I did not have any other patients go into a coma this week, but yesterday I simply had to take a man to the hospital for a doctor appointment and as we walked in the front door of the hospital and I asked to borrow a wheel chair(he has parkinson's and walks with a cane)he fell down. We spent 4 hours in the ER and they admitted him. I then had to take a 101 year old woman to a dentist appointment. I was a nervous wreck. I pick her up and she is a trip, so funny. We get to the dentist office and it is in a big old house with lots of steps. Luckily a gentleman was just leaving and he and I ushered Clementine up the steps. When I dropped her back off at 'the home' I was relieved to say the least.
I have no new book news to report today other than the publication date for "Bristol Stomp" will be announced very soon and I am excited about that. I have 2 other books started and will begin the outline on a 4th sometime next week.
I may have figured out the button thing for my blog; but I'm not sure someone will have to try to grab it and let me know if I succeeded if not I am determined to get it right!
A huge thank you to Mrs.4444's for hosting FF and if you have not checked out her gratitude contest yet be sure to do that(but I am going to win)!
Have a safe Memorial Day Weekend my friends and do not forget the reason for the day. Be sure to thank a soldier!
And I want to thank all of my followers and give you all a great big virtual hug!

Monday, May 24, 2010

From "Bristol Stomp" The beginning of the baby parade..

In April I was asked to do another poem for NOVA’s ecumenical service. I wanted my poem, this year to be a little more positive, empowering.
There were so many people there that had lost loved ones on 9/11. My heart was breaking for them. Would they ever have justice? Would they ever have the answers they desperately needed?
It was also the third anniversary of David’s death. Although I focused on staying positive, I allowed myself to miss him. I had an overwhelming desire to make him proud of me. I also wanted my kids to see me smile again.
When I would make a negative comment about the sentences, or other arrests being made there were actually people that would say to me, when are you going to get over that? I did not let these comments anger me. I had every right to feel sad, when I was sad. I had every right to miss my brother. I had every right to be angry with a system that was more interested in good percentages and winning elections than it was about protecting people. I was just determined to take my anger and turn it into positive energy. Anger had been like a heavy bundle of bricks hung around my neck. It was so heavy, I could not accomplish anything. Do not get me wrong, I did not suddenly turn into little miss sunshine, I was still angry. I just did not let it control me.
On June 10, 2002, Dominic Angelo Nocito III was born. He struggled to breathe. He had some fluid in his lungs. After a few scary hours he was fine. The nurses in the nursery at Lower Bucks Hospital assured me it was a common problem with babies born via c-section. He also developed jaundice. Joan had it and so did Allyson. At least I knew what that was. It was still awful seeing the tiny little guy under those lights with his eyes covered.
When I finally was allowed to hold him for the first time I was overcome with an empowering feeling of hope. My family had a future and I was holding it in my arms.
Allyson was so excited to be a big sister. She was so protective and actually very bossy over who could hold her brother and when. It was adorable and annoying at the same time.
When a photographer I recognized from The Bucks County Courier Times, showed up at the hospital nursery, I was surprised. When I asked him why they were doing a story on our little one, he told me to do the math. It was nine months since 9/11. Apparently, many babies were expected to be born that week. The tragedy that struck our country brought people together. Everyone just wanted to love each other. To hold on to who and what they had. Yes, that baby boy’s eyes gave me a lot of hope.
In September I learned my son and his wife were expecting. I was ecstatic and honestly overwhelmed. I was having another grand child every six months.
I sat on the front porch with Allyson and asked her, Allyson how did I ever get this lucky to be having so many babies coming into our family? She thought for a minute then looked up at me and said, Mom-Mom, Uncle David knows how much you love babies. He is just going to keep on sending them down from heaven so you don’t have time to be sad anymore. I looked up at the sky and just at that moment there was a beautiful rainbow. I cried and smiled. How is it possible for a seven year old to know the exact thing to say to make me believe? She amazed me.
After a long night of labor and an emergency c section on December 17, 2002, Morgan Layla Timm was born. I was only able to see her for a moment as they were rushing her into the Intensive Care Nursery. She looked so tiny. I noticed a small patch of strawberry blonde hair and chubby little cheeks. Because Jill developed a fever during labor the baby had an infection.
Jill was released after five days and I will never forget going onto the elevator with her to take her home. It hit both of us as the elevator door closed that we were going home without the baby. I will never forget the pain in my own baby girl’s eyes that day. I wanted to fix it for her but there was nothing I could do.
Of course I thought about that awful time when Jill may not have been born. What had I been thinking? Every day I thank God for intervening that day. I prayed to Mary, the blessed Mother, I thanked her for my beautiful daughter and asked her to watch over Morgan and Jill.
After a very frightening seven days, Morgan came home to join our family on Christmas Eve. I believed God only gives you as much as you can handle. It would have been unbearable to celebrate Christmas without our little peach.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Friday Fragments:

Happy Friday Fragments everyone. As usual my life never seems to have a dull moment. Those of you that know; I was in a accident back in September and have been struggling with post concussion syndrome, pinched nerves, herniated disks (4)and a torn rotator. I went yesterday for epidural and steroid injections in my neck and shoulder. I'm here so all went well although if I end up not making any sense it is because of the good drugs!
Also if you know me you know that I recently returned to my job of providing home care for the elderly. My newest client is a severe diabetic and needs someone to just keep her on track med wise and keep her company. I have bonded with her very quickly. Yesterday I was with her from 10am to 1pm and then was scheduled for my procedure at 2. At 11:30 My sweet Jayne went into a diabetic coma. She is in intensive care and I was late for my procedure. Please say a prayer for her.
Good news: I will be getting the release date for my book very soon and I am so nervous in both a positive and negative way. I need to be healthy because I was told this is were the real work comes in. No more sitting at the computer in jammies; I must be ready to put the rubber to the road!
More good news: New grand baby Peyton Elizabeth will make her grand entrance on the morning of May 28th via c-section which is the day before her cousin Adriana Jean turns one. Please say a little prayer for Peyton and my daughter Jillian. It has been a rough 7 and a 1/2 months and I cannot wait to meet her.
My husband is the ultimate mans, man and he is having a lot of trouble dealing with not being able to "fix" me. We are so in love and I feel so sad seeing him feeling so helpless.
Thank you Mrs.4444's for hosting Friday Fragments and I hope you will all scroll down to the link and join in!
I am still having trouble with creating my button but I am determined to get it as soon as the drug clouds leave my head.
I hope you all have a powerful and Positive week!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Rainy days make me smile..

David always loved rainy days because he was a mason contractor by day and if it rained he had the day off. He loved to spend the day writing music and playing his guitar. One night he taught Allyson how to do a rain dance. Imagine her 3 year old delight when she woke up the next morning to an actual rainy day!
It has really been bothering me lately that we have had so many new additions to our family since David's death. Bothering me in a way as to what do we tell these "new" kids about Dave. They are getting older, they see his picture's and they hear us "mention" him and they ask questions. They are still too young to hear the graphic details. Allyson is now 14 going on 40 and she has very vivid memories of her Uncle. But the little ones they have no clue who this man was. This was one of the reasons I wrote the book. When they are old enough they will be able to read all about their Uncle Dave and who he was, not just "how" he died.
It is raining today and I am smiling and allowing myself to remember the good memories. I just cannot help being just a little angry and a lot sad that David will not be here as we prepare to welcome our newest family member; Peyton Elizabeth who will arrive via C-Section on May 28th. He would have loved the fact that she is being named after an awesome quarterback (not an Eagle) but awesome none the less.
I am overwhelmed by the number of virtual friends I am making and like the title of my blog..They say everyone has a story; everyone does. I am reading some of the saddest stories and some of the most glorious and my favorite the most hysterically funny stories. My sad little blog is growing up and has been getting a lot of followers lately. I cannot tell you how much this warms my heart. I thank Mrs.4444's at "halfpasskissintime" for a lot of my new friends, if you have a chance to visit her the link is down below. She is amazing and is actually having a contest so you will be happy you made the visit. Also all of my new friends at "She Writes" what a great space for us writer's to feel at home. Okay enough rambling for a rainy Tuesday. I wish you all a positive and productive week!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Friday Fragments

I cannot believe it is Friday again already!
I went back to work last week after being off for 6 month's because of injuries
from an auto accident. Everything went well and I am thrilled to be back to work.
I went yesterday for trigger point injections in my neck and would not suggest this for anyone as I am in agony today. Next Thursday they will do an epidural. If I'm not here next Friday you will know it is because I cannot type!
Today is my Mother-in-law's birthday. She passed away 2 years ago and I miss her.
I am really excited that my newest grand daughter (Payton Elizabeth) will be arriving very soon. My grand daughter Adriana will be a year old on the 29th of May, I cannot believe it has been a year. Adriana's older sister Allyson (the first) is 14. Shortly after my brother's murder 2 of my daughter's and my daughter in law where pregnant at the same time. I was happy and overwhelmed. I said to Allyson who was 6 at time "What have I done to be so lucky to be having all these babies"? Allyson thought for a minute and then said "Mom-Mom; Uncle David knows how much you love babies and he is just going to keep sending them to you from heaven so you won't be sad anymore" I believed her.
Happy Friday everyone and the link is down below just scroll on down!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

"Bristol Stomp" more from the sentencing..

My family just gasped. They were going to prison but for only 5 and 8 years!
The moans and crying from their families was over dramatic and very annoying. How dare they? I remember Angela Galione screaming, “Why are they doing this to him”. I really wanted to punch her in her stupid face. Was she really that stupid? Why could she not see her brother for the murderer he was?
Jerry Reeves little brother was crying, “Oh Jerry”. I did feel sorry for him he was just a little kid. I hoped he would learn from this and not follow in his brothers shoes. I hoped his family would teach him right from wrong.
My first question for the court advocates was how long would they actually spend in prison. They said we would talk about it later.
I was in shock. What was Judge Heckler thinking? Five years, eight years, for murder! I felt like he was slapping the jury that had worked so hard in the face. Is that all he felt Dave’s life was worth? I was so hurt. I felt so let down by him. I had admired him through this whole process. I felt he ignored the jury’s findings and went with his own. This was a murder verdict. Did he think David deserved this? Was it possible he believed David started the fight? Did he not hear the testimony? David was just driving home. Galione and Reeves were out looking for someone to ‘mess up’ that night. David, Joey and Anthony did everything they could do to avoid the first fight and then they were ambushed and ran for their lives when the second altercation began. If Heckler felt this was a mutual fight he was wrong. He was very wrong. I was just so devastated.
The only good thing that happened that day was we did get to see them led off again in handcuffs and shackles. They had to listen to their families and the pain they had caused them. I doubted they gave my family or David one thought. I doubted they even grasped the idea of how much damage they had done. Did they even realize they were going to hell? They were probably both just feeling sorry for themselves. I hoped they were scared to death about where they were headed. I hoped they feared for their lives.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Friday Fragments

It has been one crazy week for me!
I have gone back to work at my day job after being off for 6 months with a
very pesky concussion, torn rotator cuff and pinched nerves in my neck.
I am anxiously awaiting the date for my brand new grand daughter's arrival (she will arrive via c-section)
I cannot concentrate on my next I'm making that one #3 and #3 will be #2
Happy Friday Everyone!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I made it through April...

The anniversary of David's death has come and gone. The memorial service was as usual emotional. I cannot believe it has been 11 years but I say that every year. What made this April even harder to bare was the fact that one of the murderers is now off of parole. Free to roam the streets and spew his venom on my family and anyone else he chooses too. I catch myself wishing he would hurt someone else so he would have to go back to prison. Of course I honestly would never wish that kind of pain on any other family so why does the thought creep into my head? I have dreams of really horrible things happening to him and his family; specifically his sister who never misses an opportunity to say hurtful things to us and brazenly stays wherever we are be it a party or a store or a bar. Also another of the murderers is now out of prison. He is still on parole but that has not stopped 'the sightings' of him. And of course 11 years later none of the others involved in beating my brother to death have been charged with anything.
To throw more salt on my wounds the evil district attorney who would not charge the others is now a judge and the trial judge who handed out the worst sentences for murder I have ever heard of and still 11 years later cannot believe it happened; well that judge is now the district attorney. Can I get a break here? Seriously I have waited all these years for her to be gone. I prayed for a district attorney that would work on the still open case. It is just such a blow to my faith and hope but I will never give up fighting for justice.
As far as the book goes. I am in limbo. Pre-production. I am told this is the best time to really work on my next two works in progress. I am trying to do that. I am writing at least 2 hours every day some days more some days less. I am having a little trouble concentrating. I have so much to look forward too. A brand new grand daughter coming very soon and the release of "Bristol Stomp". But I am still stuck in this how can I be so sad and so happy at the same time phase. I need some good news, yes good news would help.