They say every face in a crowd has a story to tell, this is my story..

The news shows and newspapers all called it 'Road Rage'. To me that sounded like a disease, an affliction that can make you kill. A sorry excuse to take the claw end of a hammer and slam it repeatedly into the skull of a human being. In April of 1999 my little brother passed away. Doesn't passed away sound so gentle, even normal? David's death was neither. It was murder. He was found lying in a strangers driveway in a pool of blood. He had been punched, stomped and beaten over his entire body. I still have so many questions. I wrote this book at first for therapy and then for answers. I have found a few. I mainly realized l lost a brother tragically and senselessly. Like every other face in the crowd I have a story..and I want to share my story with you! PUBLICATION DATE TO BE ANNOUNCED LATE SUMMER/EARLY FALL :)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Fragments

Happy Friday Everyone.  Welcome to Friday Fragments where I can unload all the little pieces in my mind that cannot fill an entire post.  The host of Friday Fragments is the super talented Mrs.4444 and you can find her and join in the fun
Because I am over 40; I also participate in the beautiful Java's Follow Friday.  You can join in here:

Okay so this past week my computer crashed 3 times.  I knock on something hope it is okay for a couple of weeks until I can get a new one.  I still am working on locating all of my photo's.

I was a foster Mom to a little girl 11 years ago.  We had her from the time she was 7 weeks until she was 7 1/2.  At that time she went back to her Mother briefly then to her father in Minnesota (far from here).  We were all devastated and missed her terribly.  I found her or she found me on Facebook this week. (Enter 11 years of tears here).  I am happy and cannot wait to see her.

Also this past week I found out I have to give up my gall bladder.  The doc tells me they will just make a little hole and suck it out.  Yeah right; I'm always the 1 in a 1000, but I am going to think positive here and hope for the best.

We will be Trick or Treating with all 11 grand kids on Sunday.  I cannot wait to share all the photo's with you.  I hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween.
Then comes November!

My contest is still running: for every 10 new followers I will randomly pick a winner from all followers.  Good Luck to all and if you are the 2 winners from last week I will get your prizes out to you this week.  Congrats.

My little dog Louie has a lump or a something on his neck; vet appointment next Wednesday,  I hope it is nothing serious.

I must go now and take Sophie (our homeless woman who is no longer homeless) to the doctors and hopefully have some paper work filled out so we will be able to place her in a nice new home.

Have a great weekend and God Bless!

Favorite quote this day: Forgiving someone takes their power over you back.  It is also entertaining to watch them continue to attempt to control you with what is no longer theirs.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Bully Free Zone

    *This post comes with a warning:  It may or may not be P.C.  It is meant to be an honest conversation; if you fear honesty, please do not read!
The Network of Victim Assistance (NOVA) came into my life shortly after my brother was murdered.  They counseled us and held our hands through every step of the justice system.  I do not know what I would have done without them.
When NOVA invited me to sit on their board of directors; I was deeply humbled.  More than anything I wanted to help others who had been faced with the horror my family faced.  I also wanted to be an example to my kids; to show them bad things happen to good people and kindness begets kindness.
NOVA not only supports and empowers victims of all crimes they also educate.  The education department holds seminars for police officers and hospital staff on empathy for victims of crime.  They also visit every school in Bucks County, Pa. equipped with programs to counsel students in need, teach anger resolution skills, of course the famous good touch bad touch and my personal favorite The Bully Free School Zone.
Bullying is not new.  It has been around since the beginning of time.  Cyber bullying is however new and the jury is still out on whether bullying of any kind is just a right of passage while growing up.  
Personally I think it is cruel and unjust and should never be tolerated.  I am a Pisces after all which makes me a dreamer.  I just want everyone to play nice.
Children MUST be taught to be kind.  The best way to teach kids to be kind is by example.  My kids will be the the first to tell you that I would give my last dollar to a stranger in need.
This brings me to my confession.   I have been the victim of bullies my entire life.  It started in kindergarten.  The bullies I encountered only taught me who I did not want to be.  That was pretty heavy for a 6yr. old but it is the truth.   Was I afraid to go to school at times?  Absolutely, I was terrified.
As I got older I was steadfast in my convictions.   I would never be mean to anyone; ever.
When I turned 13 the worst kind of bully entered my life.  I was sexually assaulted by a trusted adult complete with threats of terror if I told anyone.  I told.  
I grew up and was bullied in my career by supervisors.  This was prior to sexual harassment in the work place being invented, Yes I am that old,so to me they were just big bullies.  
I also chose bullies for romantic partners.  The scary thing was I actually believed I could help them; change them.  What an idiot I was.
When 7 bullies chose to beat my brother to death with bats and hammers  my kindness soul was cracked.  For the first time in my life I felt gut wrenching, heart burning anger and hatred.  My own thoughts scared me to death.
Through the grace of God, with the help of NOVA and 7 years of intense therapy, I slowly began emptying the bag I had stuffed with every hurt feeling, bad touch or evil word I ever heard.  It was one heavy bag.
My conversation now turns to adult bullies.  Little bullies unchecked grow up to be adult bullies.  They come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, colors and nationalities.  Can you recognize an adult bully?  If one was harassing you would you be too ashamed, embarrassed or scared to tell someone?
I have had an adult bully for a very long time!  I told everyone right away.  I of course got the feeling no one believed me and was actually told that this person was practically a saint.  I was deeply hurt.  I  let it go.  Every now and again it would happen again.  I started to stuff again but not for long.  The difference now is I am a big girl and I have been armed with Mad Skills to out bullies.  Actually all it took was putting my phone on speaker and having the non-believers hear the vile venom spewed my way.  I will not tolerate that behavior from anyone ever again! (and just in case you were wondering I have no clue what I did or supposedly did to this person to cause the behavior).
So can you recognize an adult bully?  They can be very crafty.  They have a Jekyll & Hyde nature-they are vile and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses.  No one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature-only the current target of the serial bully sees both sides.
Adult bullies use excessive charm and are always plausible and convincing with family, peers, superiors and others.  The charm is used to cover up a deep lack of empathy.
These bullies will always outsmart most people in verbal interaction, especially in times of conflict.
They can be so kind, helpful and loving....verbally...but there can be a lack of physical love (hugging, snuggling, cuddling of children or spouse) due to severe emotional damage suffered early in life.
I feel deeply sorry for my personal bully.  She is deeply unhappy and has never felt quite "good enough".  I include her and her family in my prayers everyday.  She however; must never take my forgiveness and kindness  for grantedI will not be her victim again; ever!
*If you are being bullied by an adult-tell someone.  Tell everyone, until someone listens.  Of course today's technology can be quite useful in catching these bullies in the act!

My favorite quote this week:  Four things that can never be recovered: the stone after it has been thrown, the word after it has been spoken, the occasion after it has been missed and the time after it has gone.

If you have time; you can scroll way down until you see the pretty gazebo.  It is a link to NOVA and all kinds of useful information for victims and/or their friends or family.  Peace!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Fragments....Finally!!

I have not had a good week!  My newest computer fried and I thought once again I had lost everything.  (My book revisions and my blog and of course all those photo's that need to be sent to snapfish).  My husband unhooked everything and left the house with the computer.  I pouted for awhile and than started to feel lazy so I took some laundry to the basement.  The floor was wet; uggh the water was up to my ankles.  I was upset.  I moved just about everything down there because we are redoing a few rooms in the house.  Some very sentimental items have been ruinedWe never have water in our basement and cannot figure out why it keeps happening.  We are calling a plumber on Monday.  Any way have I ever told you all how much I love my husband.  That man is a miracle to me.  He has been dealt with the worst blows a parent should ever have to deal with and he finds happiness in the tiniest little things.  I cannot help but smile when he looks at me.  He makes everything okay.  And on those days when he cannot find an itty bit of happiness I share mine with him.  We are very sappy; but seriously love one another :)
  LETS GO PHILLIE'S  On the menu for tomorrow nights game: junk food and lots of it.  Wings, beans, salads, nacho's and so much more!!
Did I mention my computer has been brought back from the dark screen?  Only $65.00.  But I need to re-load my word program and the stupid disc drawer will not open.  We called the person who fixed it and she said she noticed it.  DUH!  Why did you not tell us?  Now we have to unhook and take it back and WTH!!

Okay enough suspense...but a little business first...FRIDAY FRAGMENTS is the brainchild of a very kind person; Mrs. 4444.  You can find her and the link for FRIDAY FRAGMENTS 
And I have chosen Mrs. 4444 as one of the winners in my goal to 300 followers contest.  I felt like she read my posts and I appreciate her time.  
I have also chosen VH Sehy Photography. (and to answer her question..Dave was Joan's uncle.  They were only 2 years apart and were extremely close.  Joan has a keen psychic ability as do I and it scares both of us.  You can find her and her beautiful photo's here:
I have also chosen Coby because she makes me smile; you can find a reason to smile and some joy here:
And yes I have one more winner... and don't forget I will choose a winner for every 10 new followers.  The winners will be randomly chosen from all followers and all comments.  All you have to do is nothing; unless you want to leave me a comment :)
The one more winner is: Robin and she will make you laugh; check her out here:
So all of you please send me your address to and I will send you something and thank you all for following and leaving meaningful comments; you have no idea how much you mean to me!!

I am also hooking up with the very lovely Java at never growing old.  This blog is very over 40 friendly.  You can find many friends here at the Friday Follow: 


Our travel plans to a secret location have been made;  I am bursting with excitement;  The launch party is close to being finalized and I cannot wait to share all the details with you :) :) :)


My favorite quote's this week : 
Forgiving someone takes their power over you back.  It's also entertaining to watch them continue to attempt to control you with what is no longer theirs. 
And: Violence is never the answer unless the question is "what is never the answer"  Cleveland

This weekend I will be having a movie date with my husband and watching some Phillie's (please let them win) and some Eagles and some Flyers's and I really hope I find some time to take out some winter is freezing here in Philly!
Have a positive weekend!! 

Monday, October 11, 2010

More from Bristol Stomp...

Such a beautiful Ball Park!
Great Game!
How about those Phillie's!!!
To celebrate my blog approaching 300 followers I am giving a prize for every 10 new followers;  The winners this week will be chosen from the comments on this post and from my last 2 posts.   I am looking for the most meaningful comments...Good Luck and Thank You!! 
I will announce the winner's on Friday!! 
 From Bristol Stomp:
I had plenty of time alone at night to think.  I thought about that night often.  I had always thought Dave had been coming west on Wilson Avenue.  Or was he was driving east?  Jerry Reeves car must have been following him down Route 13, Greene Lane and then onto Wilson Avenue.  I just don't know.  I believe Dave pulled over because Jerry was flashing his lights or beeping.  David most likely assumed it was someone he knew.  Perhaps he thought it was one of my kids or my sister or any one of his many friends.  As Jerry walked up to the car and Dave rolled the window down, I believe Jerry punched David as the others in his car surrounded David's car.  Joey and Anthony got out of the car.  There was a fight that did not last long.  Dave, Joey and Anthony were stunned.  As they tried to pull away they were surrounded.  I believe Dave was struck in the back of the head with something as soon as he got out of the car.  He stumbled to the driveway being hit with something the whole way.  When he was down I do believe Steve was hitting David with something, Mike Good was stomping on his head and Jerry was beating him with the level.  When Galione finished beating on Anthony he came over and knelt over Dave and pounded that hammer into Dave’s head.  This is what I think.  Will I ever know the entire truth?  I hope so.  Will the others be arrested ever?  I’m not going to give up, ever! There is no statute of limitation on murder.
            Something else I think is instead of blaming my family, the Galione’s, Reeves and the other murderer’s family and friends should have started a fund for Michael and Birna.   Birna lost her husband, her car and was unable to work in the United States until her green card situation was settled.   We did not even have a car seat for Michael because someone smashed it to pieces.  There was no reason to treat any of us the way we were treated. Where was your compassion, your Christianity?  I do not know how you live with yourselves or sleep at night.  Jimmy and Jerry went to jail because they murdered David.   That was their choice.  We did not put them there.   That choice hurt a lot of people and still does, like it happened yesterday.
            You should have the moral conviction to leave any time you see us at a party, in a store or at a bar.   That would just be the right thing to do.   How dare you make any comment to Birna or any of us!   I pray every day for the ability to forgive you for your behavior.    I pray that you will be struck by some flash of light that says, what where we thinking.  Why did we hurt that family more than they where already hurting so badly?
            What I mostly think is like so many other faces in a crowd I’m  just a sister that lost a brother tragically.   It is not a new story unfortunately violence does strike someone minute of everyday.
            I thought a lot about Anthony and Joey and Dominic.   Anthony and Joey were the last people on earth to hear David.   They were the last two to see him as he was when he was alive, a big strong gentle giant.   I wondered what they were thinking.    Did they torture themselves like I did going over and over that night in their minds?    Did David ever come to them in their dreams?
I also thought about my friends.   I was so busy with the babies and my blossoming social life I never saw or heard from any of them.   I really missed Tina.   I wondered if I had done something wrong.   Was she sick of my sadness and depression?   Maybe she had stuff going on in her life and she needed me but felt I couldn’t be there.    That made me sad.    Or does life take people in different directions.   Of course there were the friends that turned out to be not worth my time.   The ones that said get over it already and move on.   I was making some new friends at NOVA but I really did miss some of the old ones.
            I thought about the psychic that night at Michael’s.    He clearly saw something violent was going to happen.   He told Joan to crawl under the car to be safe.  Why didn’t Dave crawl under the car?   Why did the psychic see Joan and not Dave in the violence?
Statistics show Road Rage is becoming an increasing problem in our nation.  If you find yourself in a harassing situation by another driver, do not react!  Avoid making any eye contact,  this could be a trigger for confrontation.  Do not be temped to accelerate, break or swerve suddenly.  This may also be seen as confrontational and increases your chance of losing control of your vehicle.  If a driver continues to hassle you or you think you are being followed, drive to the nearest police station or busy place and get help.
I thought about people like Natalie Holloway’s family.  They have no idea what happened to their daughter.  They have no idea where she is.  We may not have all the pieces, but we do know David is dead. We know where his ashes are.  These poor parents had no clue.  I cried and prayed for them.  I saw their fight for justice was going to be agonizing.  I wanted to hug them.  I wanted to go to Aruba and help them find their baby.
            I tried to stop thinking about all of this stuff.  I needed to move on and put some kind of life together for myself.  I knew without a doubt I wanted to help victims.  That would always be a part of my life.  I devoted a lot of time to NOVA.  I hoped God had put me on the right path.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday Fragments...

I seriously cannot believe it is Friday again..but then again I am quite fragmented so it must be time for Friday Fragments.  The lovely host for FF can be found
It is a way to dump out all the little pieces in your mind that actually are not enough for a complete post..check it out!

When you are finished there I'm sure if you are 40 or over you would just love Java and her Friday Follow.  You can find her

So How about those Phillie's!!  I am so excited and cannot wait to get home from work tonight to watch the game!!

I have to work on "branding" myself as an author this week.  Doesn't that sound awful; like it is going to burn...anyway that is what I will be doing all week...

We had grand kids; Dominic (8) and his sister Adriana (1) last weekend while their older sister participated in a softball showcase.  She is 15 and is already playing for college scouts?  Whatever; I guess..
 We talk the little ones to Linvilla Orchard's.  They have a petting zoo and a farmer's market, an awesome playground and lots of pumpkins!
Feeding Rooster's
 Dominic and Pop-Pop did guy things like clean the motorcycle and the car; cut the grass, build fires (in the pit).  Adriana and I just played and snuggled.  She is now 17 month's and I cannot believe how well she is talking, actually 3 & 4 words together..I was amazed! 

All Boy!

Talking to Momma
She called it a kitty (she has a doberman)
I had to save her from the scary!   

I cannot believe how well Dominic is doing.  If you did not know; back in July at summer camp Dom had a metal pole go clear through his leg, down by his ankle.  We thought he would lose his foot.  Miraculously the pole went in between his major artery and his bone.  All they had to repair was some muscle and ligaments.  He will need plastic surgery at some point but can you believe he climbed a tree.  It truly is a miracle!

I am still celebrating my quest to 300 followers. For every 10 new follower's I am picking a winner. I changed things up a bit last week and instead of picking randomly I am going to pick my favorite commenter from last Friday, this Friday and a serious post I will do on Monday.  Hopefully I will need to pick several.

I am really missing my brother this week (the subject of my book). I don't know why, maybe the season change.  I also miss my 2 brother's that are still here.  Life really does get in the way sometimes. I am going to try to see both of them next week.

My favorite quote of the week:
This too shall pass.  Change is the only constant. In order to take a breath, you must release a breath.
Have a positive and powerful week!   
The beautiful sunset I witnessed on 95 south after dropping Adriana and Dominic off at home

Friday, October 1, 2010

Friday Fragments:

It has been raining so hard today..all does not usually rain for hours straight like this in Philadelphia..
I am so proud of our Philadelphia Phillie's; they have won the National League East Championship for the 4th year in a row..WOW..sorry but before the last 4 it was like 28 we are painting our town Red once again and will probably be biting our fingernails and having cardiac problems..but we are excited!!
I must thank Mrs. 4444 for hosting Friday Fragments and also suggesting we purchase our domain names. I went with Go Daddy; it was easy and $12.00. You can get some fantastic advice and meet some of the nicest blogger's if you visit our fantabulous host 
After you are finished making some new friends there; please visit the beautiful Java who is the host for blogger's over 40 (if you fit that category)
I have had a very busy week as usual and have really slacked on my writing and blogging.  I have a lot of catching up to do. I am still having my celebration to reach 300 followers and I am going to change it up a bit this week. Instead of randomly choosing a winner from all followers; I am going to choose from the most meaningful comment between now and follower #260. Congrats to winner #4 Karen Mortensen from Mortensen Moment's, you can find this lovely woman and her beautiful photograph's here: Thank you for following!
These little sweeties are grand daughter's Avery Paige 4; Peyton Elizabeth 4 month's (today) and Morgan Layla; 7.  For the heck of it I asked if anyone can tell me why these little ones go by both names I would send a prize to the first commenter with the right answer. Or I may pick 2 or 3 with the right answers. What can I say I love going to the post office with prizes! Good Luck, I cannot wait to see what you all come up with!
This week we will be hosting our grand son Dominic who is 8 (the one the had the terrible freak accident a few post back...and his baby sister Adriana (17 months) Big sister Allyson (15) is playing a softball showcase out of town and Mom and Dad wanted to travel a little lighter this weekend. Hopefully this darn rain will stop and we can go pick pumpkins or something fun..

Adriana and Mommy

My sister -in-law Nancy is visiting this week from Florida; My husband has 6 older sisters..Nancy is the youngest of the girls..she is a lot of fun and I am excited to visit with her!

That is about all I have for now, Thank you for stopping by!
And remember;"be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"