I made it through April...

The anniversary of David's death has come and gone. The memorial service was as usual emotional. I cannot believe it has been 11 years but I say that every year. What made this April even harder to bare was the fact that one of the murderers is now off of parole. Free to roam the streets and spew his venom on my family and anyone else he chooses too. I catch myself wishing he would hurt someone else so he would have to go back to prison. Of course I honestly would never wish that kind of pain on any other family so why does the thought creep into my head? I have dreams of really horrible things happening to him and his family; specifically his sister who never misses an opportunity to say hurtful things to us and brazenly stays wherever we are be it a party or a store or a bar. Also another of the murderers is now out of prison. He is still on parole but that has not stopped 'the sightings' of him. And of course 11 years later none of the others involved in beating my brother to death have been charged with anything.
To throw more salt on my wounds the evil district attorney who would not charge the others is now a judge and the trial judge who handed out the worst sentences for murder I have ever heard of and still 11 years later cannot believe it happened; well that judge is now the district attorney. Can I get a break here? Seriously I have waited all these years for her to be gone. I prayed for a district attorney that would work on the still open case. It is just such a blow to my faith and hope but I will never give up fighting for justice.
As far as the book goes. I am in limbo. Pre-production. I am told this is the best time to really work on my next two works in progress. I am trying to do that. I am writing at least 2 hours every day some days more some days less. I am having a little trouble concentrating. I have so much to look forward too. A brand new grand daughter coming very soon and the release of "Bristol Stomp". But I am still stuck in this how can I be so sad and so happy at the same time phase. I need some good news, yes good news would help.